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My dear daughter, not all men cheat

Myth number one: all men are hardwired to cheat

My daughter,

let’s break down this miffing myth. Man is created – read, hardwired – in God’s image and likeness. Which follows that God is a liar, right? Child, you’re smarter than that. You know better.  

You’ve witnessed how I do my marriage thing. That’s not to say dad’s temptation-proof. My daughter, temptations are – when, not if, overcome – the elements that strengthen relationships.

Here’s my belief, baby: all men are, like their Creator, hardwired to love and cherish – not hate and cheat. It’s our unrestrained programming, overriding the Creator’s wiring, which messes up the Master Plan.

Myth number two: all men are dogs

Pop quiz. (a) Precious, have you ever seen pop with fleas? (b) Have you ever seen pop barking or on a leash? (c) Have you ever seen mom taking pop to the vet?

Terrific.

Baby girl, to get things straight, I’ll still return to my foundation. God’s Word. Dogs were spoken to life. Man was fashioned – fearfully and wonderfully – before the Creator breathed life into him ...  and that includes Snoop Dog.

Child, what you perceive and confess is precisely what you get. If you get into a relationship with this doggone thinking, that’s what’s coming to you; plus a whole load of freaky fleas.

Myth number three: all men are the same

This generalisation may be due to drama a girl’s gone through. Or sick stuff she’s heard through the grapevine. Or seeing a loved one bearing the brunt of a hurtful affair. Still, my daughter, if you buy this myth, you’ll get two items free: lovelessness squared.  

Child, read my diary. Dad’s also been hurt by women. Hurt real bad, baby. Heartbreaking experiences didn’t obscure my “woman-view”. I gathered guts to love again, gleaned my lessons and got back in the groove. 

My daughter, if you go through a hurting relationship, never let the experience sour future prospects. Take a cue from Maya Angelou: “I did then what I knew how to do; and when I knew better, I did better.”

Myth number four: all men want only one thing

Child, start any relationship with this “prey mentality”, and chances are high you’ll be dodging imaginary landmines all your dating days. Give brothers the benefit of faith. Granted, there are playboys lurking about. Outplay these types by doing the righteous thing. 

My daughter, your virtuous stand may seem unpopular. But this isn’t a popularity contest. It’s a litmus test, which has left many girls with sulfuric acid in the face.  

God’s got you. Ask Him to lead you to your Boaz, who’s got one agenda: “Giving you prosperity and not disaster … giving you a future full of hope.” 

Myth number five: all men are polygamous by nature

That n-word above should be nurture. Which means, “influence that an organism’s environment has on the organism, especially when contrasted with what’s determined genetically or by nature”. 

My daughter, the Marriage Bill 2014 isn’t your portion. Amen? Pay scant attention to skewed social commentators. Last word comes from God. What did God predetermine genetically? “A man shall leave his father and mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife.” (Note: not wives).  

Besides, baby girl, on this score, I’m your mirror. And I’m everyman.  

Myth number six: all men can’t be trusted

Aye. This applies to both sexes … and even to the most domesticated docile pooch. Trust is earned. The only man you should trust, unequivocally, is the Son of Man. 

That said, child, you’ll never know what love’s all about until you trust. Really trust. Take the risk. Everything in life’s a risk. By waking up you’re, for instance, risking slipping and falling in the bathroom. Yet you still trust your bathroom floor.

Risk your trust, baby. Fall in love. If you slip, well, next time put a non-slip mat on your floor. 

Myth number seven: all the good men have already been taken

My child, if you fall for this line, you’ll miss the blessed brothers who, for divine purposes, cross your path every day. Ask God to give you discernment, so you’ll tell godsend guys from disaster types.  

All “good-already-taken-brothers” were, perchance, some other girl’s catch. Which means, sweetie, that “serendipity” should be your buzzword.  To paraphrase what they say: you swear you’ve dropped a bad apple, till you enviously see another sister relishing it. 

You can also flip the script. If – and that’s a BIG if – all the good ones have already been taken, what remains are the great dudes. It’s all about discernment and decisions, baby.